In process

 

Hey guys! Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve updated you! I am going to try to catch you up. 

 

Okay, let’s see, I spent the month of April at a YWAM base 30 mins outside of David Panama. It was a really neat experience, we partnered with several different organizations and businesses that are operating in a Kingdom way! I served at Global Food Providers, which is an organic farm with a mission of providing nutrition in a sustainable manner, and fighting against world hunger. I served at a coffee farm and got to invest in the indigenous kids that lived on the farm. Often times people in the indigenous Nogbe tribe will move outside of their communities for work. This was true for Mr. David’s farm, and he had housing for them on the property. Part of our ministry there was bettering their home and ministering to them! http://ruizcoffee.com is the link to buy coffee from them! I also had the opportunity to teach English to the Nogbe kids! We partnered with a couple starting a Christian orphanage; and another couple breaking ground on a property that will one day be used as a base for missionaries to come and rest. I had the privilege of engaging and serving so many different ministries there. It was truly incredible to see so many people boldly listen the Lords will, and see the result of their obedience. 

 

It was an incredible ministry month, however personally, that month was very challenging. The Lord revealed to that I struggle in showing up to Him, and my community when I’m messy or in process. I spent years of putting my worth in how others perceived me, and because of that I have a hard time coming to others when I’m not all put together. So I’m in the process of unlearning that! I fully believe I will be unlearning this in some form or fashion for the rest of my life. I was aware that this was something I struggled with in the past, but my pride wanted to believe that after finding the Lord I was fixed. Hahaha. Even as I go back and read blogs I am reminded that yes, the Lord has brought so much freedom and redemption, but I’m still learning. I haven’t arrived. 

 

First and foremost I want to bring glory to him, and talk about how transformed I am, how far he has walked me. Because I truly am a new creation, and I have grown in these areas so much. But I am still growing, still learning, and will be for the rest of my life. And I’m learning to be honest with myself and those around me. I came to this realization that I was trying to put a bow on my mess before I brought it to my team or to the Lord. I would word things beautifully, instead of just letting things be hard or confusing, It was a season of walking through hard things and trying to do it alone instead of inviting my team and the Lord to carry the burden with me. 

 

During this season I’ve meditated on Matthew 9:20-21 “just then a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, “if I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.” This woman showed up messy, she knew the Lord was bigger than her mess. 

 

And that’s what I’m going to leave you guys with! A beautiful depiction that the Lord wants us, mess and all. I’m learning to run to him with mine. So maybe reflect on your own lives, and the areas that you might be tying up with a bow, the areas you think are too messy for him. We make him so small sometimes. But guys this is the God of the Universe, you know the one who spoke and stars were created, the one who IS love, the one that layed down his life for our mess.

 

---

 

I love y’all!!