I have a list of things I want to take away from this experience. Like a tangible, well thought out list. Things I’ve really sought the Lord about; parts of his character I want to understand more fully, skills I want to grow in, spiritual gifts he’s given me that I want to step into. But I’m realizing while all these things are incredible, and I may even get them, I just want to learn to be his child. 

I want to go back to the basics. Where it’s not about what I know, or how far I’ve come, or what gifts I’ve developed; and not about what I’m not. But all about WHO I am loved by. That my identity is rooted in being his child and loved without condition. 

Because so often I forget. As people we make it about so many other things. And I’ll get caught up in spiritual pride, I see what I have to offer and the giftings the Lord has given me and I try and take ownership for the human I am today. Or I’ll get fixated on lies that I’m not enough, that I don’t compare to those around me. But Jesus is reminding me, once again, that my only qualifications are that I am his child and I am loved by him. 

Obviously I don’t have kids but I have parents that have modeled this concept well. And I wholeheartedly understand the picture the Lord paints when he asks us to come to him like children. He, the Lord of lords, the ultimate provider, the good father, love itself, is looking down at his kid going “I know you don’t have anything to offer me, but you’re my child, and you can’t do anything for me to love you more or less.” 

There is no skill or gift I could acquire that would make me more worthy in his eyes. There is no mess up big enough for him to stop cherishing me as his daughter. It’s not about me. And this has proven to be the most difficult lesson for me to learn. 

So I’m taking baby steps. He has so much patience for me, as I stumble towards this mindset and heart posture of a child. He’s holding my hand as I take each step to unlearn my striving; to unlearn measuring myself in comparison to other peoples walks. And he’s so proud. He sees my little baby steps and he delights in me and rejoices over me with singing. He loves us so much, regardless of where we are in our walk. And he is inviting us to come and be loved like a child. 

I share to let you guys know what I’m walking through right now and to offer a challenge. What things do you need to unlearn in order to be loved like a child?